RELATIONSHIP AND PRIDE
"Silent Treatment"
When you’re in a long distance relationship, using the ‘silent treatment’ is probably one of the worst ways to fix a problem and/or teach your significant other a lesson. Because while you sit there, giving them the cold shoulder, they aren’t just forced to reflect what had happened (if they are even aware of it), they agonize and torture themselves over it.
They’re left alone to fend off the miserable thoughts that come in this silence. They wonder what they have done, what they could do, if you’re leaving them, if you’ve finally grown sick of them, if you’re ever coming back, etc…
They call out for you, begging and pleading, wanting to work things out—needing you to reassure them that everything will be okay, that you two can and will work things out. But, you purposefully ignore them.
Why?
What do you gain in intentionally ignoring them when all they want is to make things work? Does it make you feel better knowing that they’re hurting? Do you honestly believe the cutting all connection is going to fix the problem? Is it supposed to make them understand what they did wrong? Or maybe a way to punish them so that you condition them to never do it again?
I just don’t understand. Maybe there’s something I failed to realize or might have missed. But silence rarely solves problems, in this case, it’s seen more as a punishment.
If you want them to understand why you are upset, don’t leave them on their own to try and figure it out, just tell them. If you’re angry and need time to cool off, let them know that, instead of disappearing for hours on ends.
It’s already hard as is being away from the one you love, and to take away the one thing you two have to keep each other such as communication? It’s beyond frightening and painful.
We have to exercise what those of us in a long distance relationship have and treasure most: communication.
So instead of keeping silent, talk. More problems are solved that way.
